There was a season in my life when I stopped going to church. I didn’t walk away from God, I walked away from people. The hurt I experienced came from those I trusted most, and the pain cut deep. I was searching for love, acceptance, and belonging, but what I discovered was that the love I was looking for couldn’t be found in people.
It could only be found in God Himself.
Healing Was a Process, Not a Moment
When I first decided to forgive, I thought it was done and over. I prayed, cried, and declared forgiveness, but then one day, I saw one of the people who hurt me on Facebook, and my heart tightened. All the emotions rushed back. That’s when I realized healing is not a one-time event; it’s a process of layers.
Each layer God peeled back revealed another wound I hadn’t surrendered. Sometimes it was pride. Sometimes it was disappointment. Other times, it was a memory I didn’t even know was still there.
But through each layer, God gently said, “Let Me have that too.”
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3
The Slow Work of Surrender
Forgiveness took time. It wasn’t instant or easy. I had to keep bringing the same hurt back to God over and over until it no longer controlled my thoughts. What I didn’t realize then was that every time I surrendered another piece of the pain, I was trading it for something far greater: peace and freedom.
God was teaching me that real healing comes when we stop trying to fix ourselves and allow Him to reach the deepest parts of our hearts.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” — Exodus 14:14
Lessons from the Breaking
Through that long season, the Lord began teaching me truths that changed my life:
People can’t be my savior; only Jesus can.
“Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there.” — Psalm 146:3
I can’t believe everything I hear; I must seek truth from God Himself.
“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” — Jeremiah 29:13
My faith belongs in God alone, not in people or systems.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5
True love is only found in God’s presence.
“We love each other because He loved us first.” — 1 John 4:19
The Day I Let Go
One day, I was simply tired, tired of bitterness and offense, tired of replaying what happened. I cried out to God, “I don’t want to live with hate and resentment in my heart anymore. Please take it. Teach me to love like You love and to see people the way You see them.”
That was the moment I truly began to heal. Not because I forgot what happened, but because I gave God permission to rewrite my story with grace. Slowly, the chains of resentment fell away. My heart, once hard and guarded, became tender again.
“I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.” — Ezekiel 36:26
Healing Became Freedom
Looking back now, I can see how faithful God was through every layer of pain. Even when I turned away, He kept pursuing me. When I gave up on church, He never gave up on me. He kept knocking until I let Him in again, and when I did, His love flooded every place that had been broken.
The love I had searched for in people was the love that had been pursuing me all along, the love of my Father.
If you’ve been hurt by people in the church, don’t rush your healing. Let it unfold layer by layer. God isn’t in a hurry. He wants to meet you in each moment, teaching you to trust again, to love again, and to walk in freedom.
Prayer
Father, thank You for walking with me through the layers of my healing. Thank You for never giving up on me, even when I gave up on others. I forgive those who have hurt me, and I release every wound into Your hands. Peel back every layer until nothing remains but Your love. Heal me, fill me, and make me whole. I choose to walk in freedom and love like You love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.